well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
