i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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