Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I will be naked everywhere
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
