she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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