i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
