This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
