are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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