I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
