forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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