i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm really busy with my period
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
