I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
