Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
FUCK WHALES
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
