3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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