the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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