Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
