That's intense
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
