Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
