Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
