Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize