I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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