Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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