This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
