this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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