This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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