I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Bang-toberfest begins!!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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