ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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