nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
