i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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