Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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