Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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