i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
