Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
