kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
