I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
