whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
