just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
