I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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