pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
