Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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