dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
