Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My vagina is officially offended.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
