oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
