yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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