we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
