I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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