just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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