Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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