we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
