I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just puked most of my soul out..
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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