Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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