Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
we should paint friendship bongs
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