Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
