i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
