maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
