I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
can u get pink eye on your cock?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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