my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
