Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
