sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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