i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
