White coat. Heels.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
