I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
