and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
