I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So vagazzling was a success
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
