Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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