Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
